The Magic Of Making Up Fast

Posts Tagged ‘Emotion’

By Renee Pullman

Most start off in a relationship without an understanding of not only their partners motivation but of their own as well. Where do we expect this relationship to go and why are we in it? These conflicting motives take most people into a relationship that will end sooner or later. Many times these conflicting motives and the other reasons for conflicts in relationships can be reconciled if the couple gets good relationship problem advice.

Relationships exist for a variety of reasons, usually there are a number of reasons are involved, and some of the reasons are more important that the others. While by no means complete, here is a list of 12 top reasons for relationships.

1. Security
2. Sex
3. Companionship
4. Love
5. Friendship
6. Common interests
7. Ego (a beautiful woman or a handsome man on the arm).
8. Money
9. Need for family.
10. Family and friends pressure
11. Religious beliefs
12. Attraction

Abraham Maslow came up with a list of The Hierarchy of Human Needs. All of these map into what Maslow described as being important. When you get past one need then the next need pops up as important. If you have no air, that is the only thing that you seem to need, if you have no food or water, that becomes important, and so on. Love and belonging come not far after satisfying our needs for providing for ourselves and our safety. These are most important, but what about our interpretation of how our reasons and ways of seeking love interplay?

If one partner comes to a relationship looking for security, while another comes primarily for sex then we have all the mixing for a toxic relationship. When these two say “I love you” it means two different things. When the partner seeking sex is ready to go then it will set a bomb off inside the head of the partner looking for security. That partner may become clingy as the ego is destroyed and this is accompanied by a spiral into depression.

We often hurt each other as we go into and out of relationships. We hurt each other because not only do we not understand our own motivations we don’t understand our partners motivations either. The conflicts if handled properly can result in a strong relationship. But letting these differing motivations twist our feelings and emotions as perhaps we don’t meet each others expectations can rip us apart and cause a great deal of pain in each others lives.

Understanding The Wife Husband Relationship

Where do you go for relationship problem advice. I invite you to visit http://relationshipproblemadvice.us/ and discover relationship advice and information.

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By Renee Pullman

Can I get my wife back? It is a question that many men ask after the anger and hurt of a failure in the marriage. Many times there is something that can be done, yet many men have no idea how to do it. Many charge in and make a bigger mess of things.

Whether you can actually get your wife back or not depends on many things that are out of your direct control. Things like whether or not she still cares for you and why the relationship went bad in the first place.

Still if you want to get your wife back there are things you can do:

1. Seriously ponder what went wrong; was it you? If so you need to apologize. Was it her, think twice before talking to her about all of her mistakes. If her mistakes are going to come out then you need to let her be the one to admit it. In your words stick to your part of the break up.
2. Let her know that you still love her and you just wanted her to know. If she seems like she doesn’t care about this at all then she is ready for the poker big league or it is truly over.
3. If there appear to be feelings meet for coffee or lunch and begin to ease into things. Try to have a good time. If nothing else is discussed try to have an enjoyable time. This will be a big accomplishment because you need to begin to associate good with each other.
4. Rinse and repeat as they say: do the meeting again, get to know each other again. Remember, no blame but be sure that at some point that you both understand each others point of view about any issues. Perhaps then you can begin to work through them either with just yourselves or with a councilor.
5. Show that you care about and respect her point of view. Listen without interrupting and ask thoughtful questions about it.

Go slow and you can get to where you want to be. Don’t force issues or push ahead too quickly. Avoid logical reasons as reasons you should get back together. While logic exists and people use it to justify things, mostly they make decisions based on emotions. This process of logic and emotion is demonstrated in every human activity and it is no different in a husband – wife relationship. Keep this in mind as you work things out.

Find some good books and resources to help you with your relationship. Sometimes it only takes a single new idea to bring a break through that will help you get your wife back.

If you are ready to recapture your loved ones heart and soul and to discover the relationship solution, then I invite you to visit http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com.

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By Renee Pullman

I want my ex back now. If that is what’s going on in your head, be patient. The “I want it now” attitude is maybe a factor in how you busted up in the first place. Most relationships break up over simple, stupid things. Impatience is one of these things. Regardless of the reason you want to know: how can I get together again with my ex.

1. Arrange a meeting in a public place. You need to begin communications if you expect to get together. Having the meeting in a public place will help both of you keep your emotions under control.
2. Both of you need to understand what happened if you want to fix the broken relationship. If it was a specific event or a series of things identify what has caused the break up.
3. Be honest and open about your feelings. A relationship needs two way communications, watch your words but be honest about your feelings. Be descriptive so you can be understood. Remember that most people are not mind readers.
4. Cage the nuance. This means really listen as your partner describes their feelings. Often our minds are at work on some internal dialog and we pay no attention. Really work on this because if you don’t know what your partner is communicating you can’t fix it.
5. Perhaps bring a small gift, a single flower perhaps.

Be clear in your communication, keep the conversation civil. Talk about some good times and if the time seems right talk about ideas for the future. Fully understand the issue at hand – be sure that both of you do. If you are at fault apologize – don’t fix blame though. Rather discuss and come to understanding You have to have the feelings out there and you both have to be on the same page.

Don’t try to make your ex jealous or get into games or power trips – never try to “make” your ex take you back. Making someone do something is childish and it won’t last even if you do. But do make an effort to be at your best both in what you say and how you look.

If things go well, begin small dates, coffee, a movie, anything to have fun together. Don’t push it, keep communication going and you will get there. Your goal is to show them that there is still something special there, something worth working on together.

If you are struggling with a break up you need to learn strategies for getting an ex back. You can get your Ex back, you can save your marriage, save your relationship – learn how to get your ex back.

http://www.TheMagicOfMakingUpFast.com is all about getting your Ex back.

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